The countdown is on.....

It's been one hell of a week, on many levels.

Work has been.. .well... very trying. I don't recall experiencing stress of this level ever before. I have never come so close to grabbing my keys and purse and walking out before. I have never had work issues drive me to tears not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES in one day - and all before 11:30 a.m.

But enough about that.

We've also had Brandon with us for the last 10 days. This is both wonderful, and exhausting. He's an amazing kid - very bright, very quiet, and very funny. But as much as I adore having him with us, I long for just a moment's peace, alone with Jeff. Oh well, that's not going to happen anytime soon, as Jeff will be working nights temporarily. He'll be leaving for work almost immediately after I arrive home, and will be getting home literally just as I'm leaving in the morning. Should do wonders for our sexlife (as in, destroy it completely).

But this still isn't my major focus at the moment....

I guess while I've talked plenty about Jeff here, I've left out one major part. No, no, he's not married. And no, he's not a one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eater. He IS however active duty Navy (which in and of itself is just fine), and he's preparing for deployment in... oh... about 9 days. For SIX FREAKIN' MONTHS.

Granted, I've known about this since we met. I think we discussed it on our third date, because he felt (since we knew at that point this would develop into something serious) that it was only fair to give me forewarning, in the event I couldn't handle it and wanted to bail.

I didn't bail. (Obviously). And why would I? Here I had just met this wonderful, sweet, loving man. Ah, so what if he's gotta go out on a carrier for 6 months? It'll be fine. I can handle this.

Only I'm not so sure I'm handling it well. Not at all. While it's always been in the back of my mind that he would be 'going out on the boat,' the reality has only just hit me recently. And I'm freaking out. I'm not even sure WHY I'm freaking out. He assures me that everything will be just fine. That he'll leave, come back, and everything will be just exactly the same as it is now. We'll move in together, we'll buy a house (a friend is planning to put his house on the market in December, and Jeff's very interested in it), we'll get married, etc....

But somehow I'm not convinced. I guess I've heard so many horror stories of what Navy guys 'do' when they hit a port. And maybe it's not fair to hold that against him, but it's still bobbling about in the back of my head. Add to that all the people who express disbelief when they ask if Jeff and I will "stay together," while he's away, adding (insensitively), "Oh, gee, most Navy guys I know always dump their girlfriends right before they leave, so they can fo mess around while they're out." Um, gee, thanks. That makes me feel so much better. So if I'm to believe the general consensus, he's either gonna dump me in the next week, so he can mess around, or he'll just mess around anyway. Yeah, nice.

Of course, then I'm feeling guilty for feeling sorry for myself. Afterall, HE is the one who has to leave home, friends, family and *gasp!* his motorcycle behind. He's got the raw end of the deal. But while I KNOW this, it doesn't keep me from throwing myself a grande pity party.

So there you have it... this is why I've not been posting a lot as of late... the pressure is starting to get to me, and I tend to spend a lot of time I could be writing just balled up on the end of the couch, crying. Yes, inside this loud-mouthed, upbeat shell is a terribly scared, sad little wuss who just wants to pull the covers over her head until it's all over.

Maybe I just need to find a little religion

Sometimes I love Quizilla, and sometimes I feel as if it's been taken over by 13 year olds wearing Mudd Jeans and glitter lipgloss.

This little number has restored my faith (no pun intended) in the beast that is Quizilla.


You are Romans.


Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

And giving credit where credit is due, I found this via Wanda.

Free For All Friday?!?!?!

I must issue a quite apology. Last month, I registered to become a part of "Free for All Friday," but then the month just got away from me, and I didn't do my part to actually participate in it this month. I guess when I registered, I didn't think to read all the guidelines and figure out just what I'm supposed to do, and how!

So for those who came here looking for a guest-writer, sorry! It's my fault!

I'll get on the stick, and get my butt in gear for NEXT month.

Peel me like an onion....

As I commented on another blog, I keep running across this lil "The Nine Layers of Me" (heh) meme. I've attempted no less than 4 times to complete it. Really. But it's just so damned long!

However, seeing as James isn't real keen on allowing others to learn about him, and yet HE managed to complete it, I felt I might as well just bite the bullet and DO IT.

So here goes....

LAYER ONE:
-- Name: Natasha
-- Birth date: May 12th
-- Birthplace: Los Angeles, California
-- Current Location: Jacksonville, Florida
-- Eye Color: Hazel/Green/Gold (change, depending on my mood)
-- Hair Color: Dark brown with TEENY WEENSY copper highlights
-- Height: 5'8"
-- Righty or Lefty: Ambidextrous. I write left-handed, and perform all FINE motor skills with my left, but play sports as a Righty. Apparently I get this from my Mom
-- Zodiac Sign: Taurus (can'tcha tell?)

LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: Romanian-English (Mom's side) and Mexican-German (Dad's side)
-- The shoes you wore today: Tan suede flip flops with turquoise and coral beads, and pookah shells
-- Your weakness: Shoes, perfume, handbags and good imported beer
-- Your fears: These change, but primarily I fear something horrible happening to a loved one, and me not having an opportunity to tell them how much I love and appreciate them before they're gone
-- Your perfect pizza: "Vincent Gardenia" from Rocky's Brick Oven Pizzeria in Atlanta (olive oil, lots of cheese, fresh basil leaves and roma tomatoes)
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: A perfect balance between a successful career and a happy, harmonious family

LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: I never AIM
-- Your first waking thoughts: Do I really have to go to work today?
-- Your best physical feature: Um, this time of year, "the girls" are more on display, so I get a lot of leers/compliments on them. But aside from that, my eyes (I was once told I could be an eyeglass model).
-- Your most missed memory: Having my parents living a mere 15 minutes away from me when I was in Atlanta. I didn't even see them nearly as often as I should have, but I always knew they were there if I needed them

LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: DIET Coke.
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Errr. It's a lose-lose situation either way, but I'll go with McDonald's
-- Single or group dates: Single
-- Adidas or Nike: Nike for walking/running/casual shoes, Adidas for my softball cleats
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton. All the way, baby.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla.
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Neither. Venti Latte. No sugar.

LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: No.
-- Cuss: NEVAH! (Phhhfft... um, yeah, especially in traffic)
-- Sing: ALL the time, especially alone in the car, but sometimes even at my desk at work
-- Take a shower everyday: At least once a day, sometimes twice.
-- Do you think you've been in love: Yes, definitely. At this very moment.
-- Want to go to college: I did. But didn't complete it. Hope to one day soon.
-- Liked high school: No, I hated it. I made some amazing friends, and they are the only reason I dragged myself to that hellhole every day. It sucked. Royally.
-- Want to get married: Yes, definitely.
-- Believe in yourself: Usually. Sometimes a little TOO much for my own good, other times, not enough. So it all balances out I suppose.
-- Get motion sickness: Only on the "tilt o whirl" at the carnival. *ick!*
-- Think you're attractive: I think I'm pretty cute overall, and have some attractive features, but I don't consider myself a supermodel by any stretch.
-- Think you're a health freak: Um, next question please?
-- Get along with your parent(s): Yes, very well.
-- Like thunderstorms: If I am at home, lights out, music on, snuggled in bed, very much so. If I'm driving? Fuggetaboutit.
-- Play an instrument: I took piano lessons for 8 years as a child/pre-teen, then got all rebellious and quit. I still regret that decision. I also played flute for a year, and violin for a year, both in grade-school.

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Does today count?
-- Smoked: No
-- Done a drug: No
-- Made Out: Oh HELL yeah
-- Gone on a date: Yes
-- Gone to the mall?: Yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: Ewww. That makes me nauseous just thinking about it
-- Eaten sushi: No (but now I'm craving it)
-- Been on stage: Um, does dancing with a go-go dancer at a club on an elevated platform count? In that case, NO, it wasn't ME. I swear. And you can't prove it!
-- Been dumped: No
-- Gone skating: Wow. No. Not in years.
-- Made homemade cookies: No. I only bake in winter.
-- Gone skinny dipping: Yes.
-- Dyed your hair: Nope.
-- Stolen Anything: Aside from the hearts of millions? Oh... you meant seriously? Er, no.

LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes
-- If so, was it mixed company: Well DUH.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Oh yeah. More times than I care to admit.
-- Been caught "doing something": Masturbating?? Having sex? Need clarification here before I incriminate myself too badly.
-- Been called a tease: OH yeah. And proud of it.
-- Gotten beaten up: No.
-- Shoplifted: A pack of Zebrastripe gum from Woolworth's.
-- Changed who you were to fit in: I'm sure I have. We all do in some way, but probably moreso in high school than at any other point.

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: I've already been there once, so I'm in no huge hurry to do it again. But theoretically, by age 34.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: Ideally, two. But the older I get, the more I'm thinking one might be more practical. For a girl? Thomasina or Tabitha. For a boy? I think I'd let Jeff (if he's the one I end up spawning with) choose the name. But I would like a son's middle name to be Achilles, after my Grandfather.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: Seeing as I was just at the perfect wedding yesterday, this has been on my mind. I think something involving the sea, either on a beach, or on a sailboat, with just immediate friends and family there. Sunset, late summer/early fall, and barefoot.
-- How do you want to die: Peacefully.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: A dolphin trainer at Sea World. Or a really wonderful mother.
-- What country would you most like to visit: Italy.

LAYER NINE:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: One.
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 4.
-- Number of CDs that I own: No clue. A lot, but not enough.
-- Number of piercings: 3 in left ear, 2 in right ear, 1 in navel, 1 in left nipple
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Um, not many. I do recall winning some poster contest in the 6th grade, encouraging energy conservation.
-- Number of scars on my body: Lotsa little ones.
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: Um, initial answer? Tons. Thought-out answer? Not many. The decisions we make shape who we are today, and overall I am happy with the person I have become.

Sam and Roy got married.......

Well, they finally tied the knot. After months and months of planning, obsessing and stressing (not to mention all the parties, the out of town guests and the cross-country trip to meet family), our dear friends Sam and Roy got married yesterday.

It was, in all honestly, the most perfect and fun wedding I've ever attended. It was a late-afternoon, outdoor wedding, and the sea-breeze came along just in time to cool off the balmy 90+ degree afternoon. The bride was GORGEOUS - she looked like a princess (and said several times throughout the day that she FELT like one, too). The groom was handsome in his dinner whites (he's in the Navy), and all 12 attendants looked flawless as well. The flowers were amazing, the food was scrumptious, the DJ was entertaining and everyone had a wonderful time.

Seriously, I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where someone (sometimes even me) was saying, "Well, I would have done this differently..." or "they should have done this...." Everything went off without a hitch. We toasted, we ate, we danced (I collected over $600 for the groom during the 'money dance,' a strange and somewhat tacky tradition, but fun nonetheless).

The Bride stuck to old traditions (her "something borrowed" was a cross that belonged to the Matron of Honor's Grandmother, which she carries with her every day), and began new ones (her "something blue" was a heart drawn on her derriere in blue ballpoint pen, in which we wrote "Hi Roy" as a surprise for her new husband). We laughed, we cried, we celebrated and we rejoiced. It was truly an amazing day all around.

I can't wait to see the pictures... prior to the ceremony, the photographers took us all out onto a bridge on the dunes, overlooking the ocean, and got some adorable pictures of the Bride with all of us Bridesmaids. I'm positive my favorite will be the "flower" shot, in which the photographer climbed up onto a lifeguard tower (to get a shot from above), and the six of us encircled her, everyone looking up and smiling, with our bouquets surrounding her face. We were all in deep red dresses, with bouquets of deep red roses, purple/black lilies, reddish/orange lilies, and kangaroo paw; the bride was in true virginal white, with a larger bouquet of the same flowers we carried, so she will be this bright white shining center in a deep red flower. I'm sure the picture will be beautiful.

Congratulations Sam and Roy! We love you!

Google me this!

My curiosity got the better of me.

I've noticed I often have many site referrals from Google. Now, no matter how ego-centric I might get (hah, as if), I know damned well these people aren't actually looking for me (at least not most of them). So I've been DYING to know just what these people were indeed searching for when they happened upon lil ol me. Well, thanks to Sarah (who piqued my curiosity) and David (who pointed me in the right direction), I've been able to locate the stats. And lemme tell ya - they are amusing!

Surprisingly, many searched for "nee," though I'm not confident they actually meant ME. There's an author out there who *sigh* seems to have stolen my name. But seeing as he's actually making money off of it, I'll let him keep it.

But there were several inquiries that were... er... unusual to say the lease. Here's a rundown of some of the better (recurring) ones:

"naughty nee"
Heh. Well, I'm thinking whomever performed this search actually knows me. Or wishes to. Amusing. Kinda creepy, though.

"hugh jackman height weight"
I can only assume my Blog was listed following my mention of seeing "Van Helsing" a couple weeks ago.

"toothing diaries"
This one kinda skeeves me out. Again, a phenomenon I made mention of briefly, but have no desire to ever engage in.

"funniest bashful rants"
Hmm. Ok. Interesting. So someone out there finds entertainment value in the embarrassment of others. Nice. Real nice.

"eighth world wonder kimberly locke lyrics"
This one is easy. It was a "now playing" track a couple weeks ago.

And the winner is.......

"MENOPAUSAL PSYCHOSIS"
Ahem... *tee hee* I love this. I am sorry to whomever was seeking actually medical advice when they performed this search, but I do hope I at least gave them a giggle when they found me instead.


Addendum: Having tested out the "naughty nee" search just to see what came up? I am assured they were NOT in fact looking for me, but were in fact looking for a certain Asian Pornstar with *ahem* H-cups. Sorry to disappoint you, ya pervert!

Unconscious Mutterings Week 68

After a few post-free days, I've gotta get myself warmed up... so let's see what's on the menu today...

1. Finale:: "Friends"
   
2. Martial arts:: Jackie Chan
   
3. Flirt:: Heh... um... ME!
   
4. Energy:: Electricity
   
5. Flavor:: Vanilla
   
6. Guess?:: Jeans
   
7. Accomplishment:: Success
   
8. Prom:: Night
   
9. Diploma:: Graduation
   
10. Bloody:: Mary
    

Now playing: The Boys (Jeff and son) are playing "The Simpsons Road Rage" on X-box.

One Year Ago Today.....

One year ago today, a boy and a girl made a date. A blind date. Being the (over) cautious sort that she is, the girl opted to meet the boy at his home, rather than allow him to pick her up at hers. Nervously, she got out of her car, palms sweating, high-heeled sandals already biting into her feet as she clicked up the walkway to the door. She took a deep breath, knocked at the door, and waited.

One year ago today, the boy opened the door. There was a brief pause, nervous laughter, and a handshake that turned into a quick hug. There he stood, in freshly pressed khakis, still warm from the iron. A crisp white undershirt peeking from the neck of his button-down shirt (also freshly ironed). When he smiled, she thought to herself, 'His eyes actually glimmer.' Deep blue eyes. Smiling eyes.

One year ago today, they walked to the car. He opened her door, and helped her in. They drove to dinner, chatting away like old friends. At some point during the drive (she didn't notice exactly when), he placed his hand on hers, which were folded in her lap. She didn't pull away.

One year ago today, the boy and the girl enjoyed dinner at a Spanish restaurant that had been highly recommended to both of them. It was a Tuesday. It was 9:00 p.m. They were nearly the only people there. They ate paella. They drank Sangria. They joked with the waitress, who shared the same first name as the girl. They talked. They laughed. They sat and looked at each other. Really looked at each other.

One year ago today, the boy stared across the table at the girl. He took her hand in his, and looked into her eyes. Really looked into her eyes. The intensity of his gaze almost made her uncomfortable. Almost made her want to look away. But she didn't. Instead she blushed, she giggled, and probably made some lame joke about having broccoli in her teeth. Then he realized that he, too, was blushing. That he, too, was probably feeling self-conscious, and yet, he didn't look away. Instead, he told her she was beautiful. And he meant it.

One year ago today, the boy and the girl left the restaurant, finding themselves in a deserted neighborhood, neither wanting the date to end. As they stood outside the restaurant, unsure of what to do, or what to say, they embraced. Briefly, nervously. As his grasp on her loosened, her lips brushed his cheek. Softly, barely noticeable. Only he did notice. In a split second, he turned his face toward hers, brushing his lips across hers.

One year ago today, the boy and the girl laughed together at this botched attempt at a first kiss. Only it wasn't really botched. It was wonderful. It was sweet. It was tender. And they both knew it. She actually felt butterflies in her stomach.

One year ago today, the boy took the girl by the hand, escorting her down the street. They walked, they talked, they stopped at the corner and kissed. This time they got it right. They continued to walk, stopping to sit on the sea wall in front of the fortress. And there they sat, and talked more. And more. And more. They continued to talk until the streets were deserted, until all the bars and restaurants had closed down. Until there was no one else in sight.

One year ago today, the boy and the girl got back in the car, and drove to his home, back to her car. They realized it was 3:30 am, and both had to wake up to go to work in only a few hours. And yet, neither wanted the date to end. They sat on his couch, looking over his photos of Italy, Spain and Turkey. They talked more. And they kissed more.

One year ago today, the girl realized it was 5:30 am, and it was time for the date to end. They embraced. Neither wanting to let go. But both knowing they had to. At least for a while. She left, driving home, a silly grin plastered across her face. In a daze, she showered, dressed for work, and drove to work, without so much as a moment's sleep. She had never smiled so much. Later that morning, he called her at work. He was still smiling, too.

One year later, the boy and the girl are still together. It hasn't always been perfect, and it hasn't always been easy. But neither pulled away. The boy and the girl are still talking. And still kissing. And still smiling.

Happy Anniversary, Jeff. I love you.

Stupid Quote of the Day.....

"We've been blessed lately with some beautful weather... but that sunshine is becoming a bigger and bigger issue." - John Gaughan, Channel 4 News, Jacksonville

Um, hello? I don't know about YOU, John, but in my book? That sunshine is a major element of the afore-mentioned beautiful weather.

Ya fruitloop.

The saga continues.....

Well, things might be looking a little better with regard to the kids in the neighborhood.

I ran into "the girl who watches them" as I was leaving to run some errands yesterday. She told me she discussed things with the mom of the children yesterday, and said she'll be glad to stay home with the kids during the day (apparently they're already out of school), but that she intends to get a job (and pay half the household expenses) waitressing in the evenings. Apparently this elicited some further insults ("Oh, don't bother applying there... everyone there looks perfect, so they won't hire YOU. You should try someplace like Village Inn or Famous Amos."), but eventually they came to an agreement about it. There will be a babysitter to come in the afternoons, between when "C" leaves for work, and the mom comes home. And if "C" decides to work any day shifts, the kids will go to daycare.

*phew*

So then I ran into "C" again in the afternoon, and she said she's pretty sure she got a job, at a local restaurant/oyster bar. She was very excited. She then went on to tell me about how she's only been here for a few weeks, and doesn't know anyone, and the mom of the kids is single as well (I guess the men I've seen staying there are not the father/husband... just random men. Nice. Real nice.) so they're both looking to go out and meet men (she then asked me if I knew any tall skinny cowboys I could hook her up with).

But, even if their collective priorities are a little messed up, at least the kids will be under some form of adult supervision.

The rest of the story....

A while back I posted (ranting) about some cute little kids in Jeff's neighborhood, who seem to be somewhat neglected. Well, yesterday, I inadvertently got drawn into the story.

Now let me preface this by saying, the kids (particularly the little boy) have become more brazen in their cries for attention. Monday night, upon arriving home from work with two armloads of groceries, the little boy followed me not only to the front door (which is in a recessed hallway, out of sight of anyone who might have been watching him), but then tried to follow me in. I kept telling him, "Sweetie, I need to go inside now to put away my groceries." No reaction, he just kept chatting away. As I am backing my way into the door, the phone was ringing, so then I'm telling him (as I'm trying to close the door), "Ok, I have to go now - I have to put these bags down and answer the phone." Again, no response. Finally, on the fourth attempt, the girl whom I've seen watching him occasionally came around the corner, and shouted "Leave her alone, and let her go inside!" This distracted him long enough for me to close the door.

When I recounted this incident for Jeff later that evening, he said he had the same thing happen twice last week - one time the child actually put his foot in the doorway so Jeff couldn't close it, and the other he put his HEAD inside the door, again, in an attempt to keep Jeff from closing the door.

And it's not that I don't want to chat with this child... he's adorable, sweet and obviously starved for attention. But at the same time, I don't want to be TOO friendly, lest he think this tactic is acceptable with any strange adult. His trusting nature could put him in danger.

So then yesterday... I went out in the morning to run some errands. When I came back, I heard someone shouting, "Hey you!" I looked around, didn't see anyone, and proceeded to unlock the door. Suddenly, from behind me, I hear, "Hey! Can I use your phone?" It was the mom/aunt/unknown female guardian of the kids. She looked distraught, tears running down her cheeks. Again, she asked if she could use then phone, adding, "I have to get out of here." Immediately, my mind was racing, thinking her boyfriend/husband was beating her, or something along those lines. She said she just needed to call her Grandparents, collect. I went inside, got the phone for her and allowed her to call.

Once she was finished, I asked her if she was okay (mistake). She went on to tell me that she had just recently gotten out of drug treatment in a town a couple hours away. After getting out of treatment, she wanted to move away to make a clean start. The parents of the children are "friends of friends of friends" whom she didn't even know prior to moving here. They arranged to allow her to move in with them, rent-free, in exchange for taking care of the children. She said the mother of the kids is verbally abusive to her, makes comments about her weight (suggesting she looked better when she was using drugs) and more. However, they have no phone (yes, a household with two active children with no home telephone) except the mom's Nextel, which can only receive (not dial out) calls.

*phew*

So, her plan was to get ahold of her Mom, and drive home last night. Whether she did or not, I don't know. But my concern over this situation is multi-layered. I mean, she might be a perfectly nice girl, and I'm glad she successfully made it through her treatment program. But what kind of parents invite a stranger who is a former (and recent) drug-addict to move into their home and care for their children? And now that she's gone, with both parents working and school ending in three days, who will care for them then?

I'm sickened by this whole situation.

Ahhhhh......

I'm on vacation.

Mind you, I'm not basking in the sunshine on some tropical island. I'm not swaying in a hammock on the porch of some rustic mountain cabin. I'm not filling my mind with art and culture in a museum.

But I'm not at work.

Yipppeee!

I had a few vacation days I needed to use up, so I opted to take off Tuesday through Friday this week. Since I went to work on Monday, it feels more like playing hooky then actually being on vacation (and we all know that there's far more satisfaction in playing hooky).

Yesterday, Jeff had to go to work... when I called him to ask where he wanted to meet for lunch, he said, "Oh, hang tight. I'll be home in half an hour." Double yippeee! So he came home, we hopped on the bike (the weather has still been spectacular here - mid 80's, breezy, though a tad humid) and grabbed some lunch. After lunch, we headed home, with the intention of checking movie times. Then we both decided a nap was in order. So nap we did! Upon waking up (it was a long nap) we did indeed check the movie times, made a light dinner, and went to see "Troy."

(sidenote: "Troy" was excellent. Brad Pitt, though good looking, has never been very impressive to me as an actor, but this was an excellent role for him. However, he was not the true star, nor was the amazingly handsome Orlando Bloom. Eric Bana. Remember that name. He was brilliant, and I'm certain this role will open doors for him in the near future. And if it doesn't? Then Hollywood is run by a bunch of idiots).

Ahem... so where was I?

Oh yeah, so we caught a movie, then came home, played a little Xbox and went to bed.

All in all, an excellent day all around. Relaxing, fun, and completely unproductive. Just the way vacations should be.

So now Jeff is sleeping in (he's on vacation the rest of this week, and part of next week), snoring away. Me? I could have slept in, but I'd much rather enjoy a couple hours of peace and solitude. Watch some news, read a magazine, catch up on reading some blogs I've been neglecting...

Yup. Today's gonna be a good day, too.

Disney.....

*phew*

WHATTA WEEKEND!

As expected, I had an awesome weekend in Orlando. We managed to conquer 3 parks - Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, and MGM. The weather was spectacular, we timed everything just right so we got on all the rides we wanted with no (or minimal) waiting, and we just had a WONDERFUL time.

Word to the wise... I've always had people tell me "Stay on property!" and never realized just what a valuable piece of advice that is. When you stay at one of the Disney resorts (as we did), you've got an amazing transportation network at your disposal. So you can hop park-to-park on a whim - ride a few rides at one, hop the monorail or a bus to eat lunch at another, hop on another bus to catch fireworks at another. I'm telling you - "on property" is the ONLY way to go.

Anyway, I'll have plenty more details for ya'll later on... right now I'm slaving away at work, trying to clear off my desk, since I've got the next 4 days off.... Yippeee!


Now playing: "Roses" - Outkast

This is my new favorite song... it's just so much fun! But, like every other Outkast track, they'll play the hell out of it on the radio, and in two weeks, it'll be annoying the crap outta me.

Unconscious Mutterings, week 67

1. Playoffs:: Games
   
2. Morris:: The Cat
   
3. Break up:: Make up
   
4. Eggs:: Omelet
   
5. Parker:: Posey
   
6. Hardy Boys:: Nancy Drew
   
7. Deluxe:: accommodations
   
8. Protection:: Condom
   
9. Girl Scout:: Cookies
   
10. Salsa:: Flamenco
    

Still recovering from my weekend adventures... will post later. Too tired, and too overworked right now to complete cohesive thoughts.

Now playing: "Behind Blue Eyes" - Limp Bizkit

Oh happy day.....

Well, the day got better (as Jeff had promised me) once I got home...

By the time I left work yesterday, I was a weepy mess. My day at work had been SO hellish, I just wanted to crawl into a hole and cry. Jeff came home, changed into shorts, and really didn't do or say much of anything, but was trying to cheer me up. But he hadn't gotten me a card, or anything, so I was feeling sorry for myself.

Then he says he's got to run out for a bit, and for me to be dressed and ready for dinner by 7:30 when he got back. Baffled, I did as I was told... As I started primping, I was feeling better, realizing that he had not totally blown off my Birthday (I should have known better). When he came back to pick me up, he was all smiles and very complimentary (when I remarked about how nice he looked, he replied, "Only 'cus I'm with you." Awwwww......)

When we arrived at the restaurant (a local steakhouse that just opened down the road from his place), I noticed a couple friends of ours sitting at the bar. Thinking it merely coincidental, I taped Jeff on the shoulder so he'd notice them. He just laughed, and told me to go say "hi." When I did, they sang 'Happy birthday' to me, gave me a card and balloons, etc... and ordered me a shot of tequila. It wasn't until then that I realized this had been planned! Three more couples arrived shortly thereafter, and we had a fabulous evening.

And the "errand" Jeff had to dash out for? He went to pick up my birthday cake and deliver it to the restaurant, so they could bring it out after dinner.

So all's well that ends well.... I had a wonderful birthday party, and got to spend it with all of my closest friends.

And the best part? Jeff gave me a big Mickey Mouse birthday card, in which he wrote that he does NOT have to work this weekend (so we're off to see the House of Mouse!)

Yippeeeeee!!

Now playing: "This Love" - Maroon 5

Well, it ain't all bad....

Upon arriving to work, two of the girls in my department sang "Happy Birthday" to me... terribly off-key, but sweet nonetheless....

Then my Mom and Step-Dad confererence called me from their respective offices, and sang to me again. Then when I checked voicemail, there was another duet from them awaiting me....

Two girlfriends took me out for lunch today (Mongolian BBQ), where an attractive (though married) man hit on me after I tried to take the tongs away from him while picking out my veggies.... (he then also told my friend, when running into her over the veggie bar again, to tell me "ANYTIME! ANYWHERE!" Flattering, though a little weird, since he's a married man)....

One of my sales reps sent me a beautiful floral arrangement - peach roses, red carnations, yellow daisies, white daisies, yellow mums, lavender Gerber daisies, and some other small yellow flowers I can't identify (I think they're Mustard blossoms).... The roses SMELL amazing.... WOW!

Another friend emailed to say she's taking me out for a pint of Cider at my (second) favorite Irish pub tomorrow night....

And the boyfriend left me a sweet voicemail while I was at lunch. He knows work has been chaotic for me lately, so he wanted to brighten up my day (which he did)....

And to all of you who stopped by and left me "Happy Birthday" comments and emails, thank you, thank you, thank you. It's been a pretty damned good day afterall. And Jeff promised me it's going to get better tonight......

So, I'm outta here... Gonna go home and take a nice, long bubblebath, light some candles, and unwind for a bit before Jeff gets home.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Now playing: "Aqualung" - Jethro Tull

Hippo birdie, two ewes... Hippo birdie, two ewes.....

Yup. I'm 32. Happy happy, joy joy.

I had actually gotten over my whole birthday blues trauma, and was looking forward to today... but now, I'm wishing I had stayed in bed. I have a sore throat and I'm congested. I went to iron a (white) shirt, and got black, charred crap all over it. And then I went to make myself some tuna salad for a sandwich, and as I was draining the white albacore, the top caved in, and basically exploded all over me. Now, not to go into "too much info" land, but I had just gotten out of the shower, so I.. ahem... wasn't yet dressed. So I ended up with tuna-splatter in (well, not IN, but ON) many locations that I would have preferred not to. This then required another shower, as I'm not spending the whole fucking day smelling like a wharf.

Can I trade this day in for another one? I'd rather scrap this whole birthday thing, and try it again later.

But I had better not be sick this weekend.... after living in Florida for 5 freakin' years, I'm finally headed to the Magic Kingdom this weekend! Whoo hoooo! (at least there's light at the end of the tunnel).


Now playing: FIrst Coast News - Weather report (this is Florida - they could in all reality, play a tape the same report for the next 7 months, and no one would notice).

My first word as an infant was "meme..."

I can always count on James for the latest and greatest in memes.....

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4.
”Pre-glued outside closure strip.” (Technical/Installation manual for metal roofing)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
My “In” basket.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
First Coast News @ 6:00 a.m.

4. WITHOUT LOOKING, can you guess what the time is?
6:00 p.m., eastern time

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
According to my PC, 5:55; according to the block on my desk, 6:01

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The radio on my desk; my manager in her office, listening to her 94 voicemails, and laughing at the callers

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
At 5:00 p.m.; to get something out of my car for a co-worker who was leaving.

8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
I checked my email (Yahoo).

9. What are you wearing?
An oatmeal colored linen skirt (long, slits on both sides, cargo pockets); a chocolate brown sleeveless linen shirt; brown leather flip-flops with little dangly brass/coral ornaments on them.

10. Did you dream last night?
Yes. It was something about my boyfriend bitching about there being a shortage of hangers in the closet.

11. When did you last laugh?
About 10 minutes ago when I was in my manager’s office, listening to one of her voicemails. It doesn't take much to make me laugh.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Crappy old pale “woodtone” paneling; a large white metal sign with “today’s service level” on it; another large white board with the day’s sales numbers on it.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Someone in my boyfriend’s complex is living in (or sleeping in) their pop-up camper trailer. Noticed it this morning as I left for work. They even have the little “screened porch” extended over the entrance.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
I’m amused.

15. What is the last film you saw? In a movie theater?
”Van Helsing.” Friday night. Liked it. Didn’t love it. But Hugh Jackman can do no wrong in my eyes. On DVD, we just watched "The Missing." Really good. Not what I expected, but good nonetheless.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A cute little arts-n-crafts Bungalow in Pasadena.

17. Can you tell something about you that no one knows?
I’m a nerd at heart.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Wow. Um, I have no idea. Whatever I say is only going to paraphrase what James said, cus that was the perfect answer.

19. Do you like to dance?
Not so much anymore. I think I got burned out on it when I was younger. I have to drink a lot to get relaxed enough to dance in public now.

20. George Bush: is he a power-crazy nut case or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
I’m on the fence on this one. I’ve been avoiding paying any attention to politics. And for good reason. But overall, I support him.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Tabitha. Or Thomasina. (Tabby and Tommy for short).

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Justin.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
I might, but I would hate to leave my family behind.

Now playing: "Don't stand so close to me" - The Police

WTF?

*sigh*

Oh, the single life.

While I may be happily (usually) attached right now, there was a time when I was a not-so-happy singleton. Let me clarify... I didn't have a problem with being SINGLE, so much as I despise the entire game of dating. It's a ridiculous sport. I know all these girls (and guys) who LOVE it. Who actually ENJOY it as a pastime. I am not one of those people.

Reading Sassy's latest reminded me of a horrible first-date I went on some time ago... and then other disastrous dates.

I'll start you off with a good one... a little over a year ago, I agreed to go on a few blind dates. Long story, but I did. One of the guys I agreed to meet seemed really nice on the phone... he was a firefighter, very active in sports, worked out a lot and had a very friendly personality on the phone. He had asked me at one point how tall I am (I'm 5'8"), and then mentioned (rather sheepishly) that he was only 5'9". No problem, I thought... I'll just wear low heels or flats when I meet him. He also mentioned that he had been divorced (no problem) - TWICE (ok, small red flag, but I won't hold it against him, I thought. He also spoke at length about his sports car (another smallish red flag, but okay).

So we agreed to meet at a local brewery/restaurant. I arrived a little early (wearing flats), and went to the bar to order a beer and wait. A few minutes pass, and then I feel a tap on my shoulder, and suddenly an arm comes around me from behind, presenting me with a single pink rose. Pleasantly surprised, I turn around. And look down. And there he was, this little elf of a man. If he was 5'9", then I'm Heidi Klum. This boy was barely 5'3". Mind you, I didn't really have an issue with his HEIGHT (ok, maybe a little), but the fact that he LIED about it. I mean, come ON, did he not think I would notice?

But it gets better....

We sit down to dinner, and things are going okay. He's good looking, well-built (he didn't lie about the amount of time he spends in the gym), but seems a little tightly-wound. As the conversation progresses, we got into the details of both of his divorces (which were, of course, THEIR fault, not his). I learned that his most recent ex-wife (well, technically wife, since they weren't yet divorced) was an 18 year old Russian import. Literally, a mail-order bride (they met online, and her parents arranged for her to marry him so she could move to the U.S. to go to school).

Oh but wait... it still gets better......

He tells me that she cheated on him. Blatantly. Ok, I can understand how this would lead to him being a bit bitter. Then mentions something about a court date the next week. I ask for what (thinking it's a speeding ticket, or something equally benign). Oh no. He's been arrested for domestic violence. Not once, but twice. Yes, twice. And as a result, he's attending court-mandated anger-management classes.

CHECK PLEASE!

We finished dinner quickly, and I mumbled some excuse about having to get home to feed the dog (I don't HAVE a dog). He called me a few more times, but shortly thereafter I met Jeff, so I (luckily) was not available to take his calls.

NOTE TO MEN: While I'm all for "honesty is the best policy," there's a proper time and place to let your skeletons out of the closet. And the first date is not that time.

So now... anyone else wanna belly up to the bar and share some first-date horror stories? Anyone? Anyone?

Now playing: "I'll be" - Edwin McCain

Whoo hoooo! Edwin's doing a free concert here, on Memorial Day weekend. I'm so excited! I could give a rat's ass about the other acts that day, but you can bet your ass I'll be there to see Edwin!

Can I get a Doctor's note to excuse me from work?

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with Natashaosis
Cause:	psychological
Symptoms:	paralysis, groin swelling, sweating, excessive hot flushes
Cure:	drink lots of water
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:

Strangely, the symptoms aren't too far from the truth (except for the paralysis)

I'll admit, I stole this from Rae, but it was too good to pass up.

Now playing: "All Through the Night" - Cyndi Lauper

Yeah, yeah, I'm listening to the 80's Cheese Channel... wanna make sumfin' of it?

Hah! So there!

Those Crazy Brits have finally proven what I've been claiming all along!

We ARE indeed better drivers than you men!

Now playing: "It's My Life" - No Doubt

A little (very little) amusement for your Tuesday morning....

I don't know why I'm always so tickled by these silly games (the baseball penguin is still my favorite, but the slap the monkey was also rather amusing).

So, to that end, please enjoy my latest discovery (thanks Woody!)

Redneck Video Game

Now playing: "That Girl" - Stevie Wonder

Cubichell

I frequently peruse the Blogrolls of those whom I enjoy reading, in hopes of finding other informative/funny/well-written blogs to become addicted to. Cubichell is one that I would frequently see listed but, until Friday, had never taken the time to read.

Do I regret this oversight or what?

Do yourself a favor and trot on over to read this. Whether you're trapped like a rat working for Corporate America or not, you'll appreciate the humor in this one. My personal favorite is Cubicle 301, and her recent issues with the shared Ladies' Room.

Now playing: "This Love" - Maroon 5

Jeopardy Nerds, UNITE!

Thanks, Scott, for reminding me about this! You know where I can be found from 7:30 to 8:00 each night this week!

Monday Madness!

Gettin' the brain warm on a Monday morning.... I'm finding this one especially amusing following Saturday's adventures.

1. If you had a farm, what would you name the following animals: Pig, Cow, Goose, Chicken and Horse (assume these are show animals and not food.)

Pig - Petunia
Cow - Flossie
Goose - Einstein
Chicken - Shit
Horse - Breezy

2. What are the top ten spices you use in cooking and what is cooked with them as the main spice (ie. Oregano: Spaghetti)
Top TEN spices? Wow.... There are a mere handful of spices that I use (in various combinations) in EVERYTHING... No way for me to pinpoint what I use in what dishes.

Oregano
Basil
Parsley
Black Pepper
White Pepper
Minced Garlic
Thyme
Rosemary
Olive Oil
Rice Wine Vinegar
Soy Sauce

(ok, so the last three aren't spices, but they are still staples in my cooking)


3. Name your favorite flower and describe yourself using the letters.
Stargazer Lillies... though snapdragons come in a close second.

S - Silly
T - Troublesome
A - Amazing
R - Real
G - Gregarious
A - Ambitious
Z - Zany
E - Erotic (hah, can I say that about myself?)
R - Romantic

Now playing: "With You" - Jessica Simpson

Further weekend adventures.....

Mitty hosted the Bridal Shower for Sam on Saturday... and I must say, that girl knows how to throw a party! Since the Bride-to-be loves Mexican food, she made (and I mean HOMEmade) a PLETHORA of Mexican dishes... chicken enchiladas, 7-layer dip, chicken taquitos, spinach/artichoke dip, and a number of other foods I can't even recall... add to that pitchers and pitchers of Sangria, Beer Margaritas and Key Lime Martinis, and you've got a recipe for a good party.

Following the games, gifts and fun, most of the group filtered out, at which point Mitty's Mom invited us to come over to her house to see the horses. Picture this - grown women, roaming around in dresses and bare feet, climbing split-rail fences to mount an Arabian horse, bareback. It was a sight to see (and yes, we got plenty of photos... none of which will make it to the 'net... too much potential for blackmail!)

After our adventure in horseback riding (and after suffering many horsefly bites!), the guys (Mitty's husband, Sam's fiancee, and Jeff) came over, and brought with them our swimsuits so we could all enjoy a cool dip in the pool. A wonderful time was had by all... it was so laid back, and between the horses and the swimming (not to mention all the giggling), it almost felt like summer camp. We laughed, we splashed, we did cannon-balls, and sprayed those on the sidelines with the hose. For one afternoon/evening, we all enjoyed activities we loved as kids, but seldom make the time to enjoy as adults.


Now playing: "Shake ya tailfeathers" - Nelly, Murphy Lee and P. Diddy

Do I really have to go back to work tomorrow?

*sigh*

I'm in a bit of a pleasantly relaxed haze. It's been one of those weekends... one of those utterly perfect, terribly busy yet still relaxing weekends. One where I accomplished very little, but managed to have a ton of fun.

Jeff and I did something novel this weekend - we went out on a date. More specifically, we had "Friday Date Night." I mention this simply because it's so easy to fall into a rut when you're in a long-term relationship. And that's not to say that ruts are inherently BAD. Quite the contrary - I enjoy the comfort of routine. But oftentimes once we reach that comfort level with a partner, we lose a bit of the romance.

Friday night Jeff worked late. He had called me at work to let me know he'd be late, at which point I assumed all plans for the evening were shot. But then he called as he was leaving work, and said, "Why don't you check the movie listings. Let's go see 'Van Helsing.'" Upon arriving home, he asked what movie I wanted to see, and then remarked that we had plenty of time to grab some dinner before the movie started. And off we went.... We hopped on the bike, stopped for Mexican food, saw the movie, and went home.

And I suppose it's not so much that the actual events of the evening were any different than a typical Friday night; We often go to dinner and a movie. But we seemed to have regained a certain little spark that I feared had been lost. We talked more, laughed more, flirted with each other more. He opened doors for me, held my hand all through the movie... did all the subtle romantic and chivalrous things he did for me when we first met. And who knows when those things started to fade... I didn't actually notice. But it sure was refreshing to have them back!!

It ain't easy bein' green...

So here it is, Sunday night, and I'm feeling like Bloggin. So I log into Blogger and *Whammo!* it's all different! New layout, new "dashboard" feature, and best of all, new templates! Whoo hooo! So what do I do? Without even thinking, I go and pick a new one. I'm forgetting one minor detail here, however..... the fact that I made a ZILLION changes/additions to my old pink page (hah, and you thought it was pretty plain and simple, eh?) So, with the minimal knowledge of HTML that I have, I somehow managed to recover it all, and I think I've got this back to some semblance of order.

Yippeee!!

Hope ya'll like the new colors... While I'm partial to pink, I think this is a slightly more soothing, less Pepto-Bismol theme.

Unconscious Mutterings..... Week 66

1. Vagina:: Pussy
   
2. Racism:: Disgusting
   
3. Mother's Day:: Love
   
4. Fire alarm:: Loud
   
5. Elvis:: Fat
   
6. Pregnant:: Life
   
7. Vacation:: Freedom
   
8. Waffles:: Whipped cream
   
9. Perpendicular:: Upright
   
10. Hospital:: Gown
    

Now playing: "Happy Together" - The Turtles

(I think this is the Turtles.... could be the Zombies or any one of a million other "the" bands of the 60's and 70's. But I think it's the Turtles. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Ranting

As long as I'm angry with the world today, I'm gonna rant a little (ok, maybe not just a little).

There is this group of people who live in the townhouse caddy-corner (kitty-corner?) to Jeff. I refer to them as a group (rather than a family) because it's an ever-changing assortment of characters. There have been domestic disputes, cops have come out, and it's a never-ending drama.

Now, here's the part that pisses me off: there are two children living there - a boy around 5 years old, and a girl, about 9. They are adorable - bubbly, bright, friendly. These two kids can always be found outside playing by themselves, with no adult supervision of any kind. Oh sure, every once in a while their Aunt will come outside to smoke a cigarette, and she'll nod an acknowlegement to whomever is outside talking to the kids, then shrug and walk back inside. But other than that, they'll be out there for hours at a time without so much as a peep out of anyone in the house.

What baffles me is that I know if they were MY kids, and I walked outside to find them chatting with two adults that I was unfamiliar with, I'd certainly GET familiar with them. I mean, these people don't know that Jeff and I aren't pedophiles or something! What the hell? We could easily take off with these kids and no one would notice until it was too late.

To make matters worse, no one has apparently informed the little girl that she IS developing, and shouldn't be rolling around in the grass in a skirt. A couple of times I had to quietly mention to her, "Um, sweetie? You need to keep your skirt down past your knees...." or "Psst... close your legs." If some sicko child-rapist were walking around the neighborhood, and happened upon this little girl, climbing trees, doing somersaults on the lawn, etc.. I'm sure she'd be a prime target. And it scares me.

Jeff has said on several occasions that if he's home in the afternoon, they are at his side anytime he steps outside the door. It's as if they hang around waiting for us, because they know we'll stop and chat with them, or play ball with them, or pet their new puppy.

There's really nothing I can do about it. There's no signs of abuse, just neglect. The kids are relatively clean, are well-clothed and appear to be well-fed, so it's not BLATANT neglect, but they are obviously starved for attention. I don't want to interfere, and I'm certain that if I said anything to the parents (whoever they are), they would take it as an intrusion of their privacy, and would not react kindly. But what can we do?

Now playing: "Ice, Ice Baby" - Vanilla Ice

I always look forward to the 5:00 O'Clock Power Jam on one of the local radio stations.. it's the ultimate in cheesy 80's/early 90's dance music. I swear, I can get more work done in this hour than I do all week.

New Poll

Various local news stories has inspired today's poll. What can I say - I'm in a super pissy mood today. People disgust me.

That having been said, thank you to all the pervs who responded to my last poll... The "Dirty Lady Cop" won by a landslide, though we had two write-in votes: one for the "naughty school girl" and one for the "naughty librarian." My apologies to Dick and David for the oversight.

Now playing: Fucktards are still whining about how badly "Friends" sucked last night. I didn't watch it, I don't care.

Excuse my language, but...

....there are some SICK FUCKS out there.

This story angers me. It disgusts me. It makes me wish vigilantism were legal. I am so sickened by what this woman did to another human being, and saddened because this is someone's mother, someone's grandmother.

Even sadder? A clip on the local news last night quoted the daughter as saying (and I paraphrase) "All mama wanted was a bigger television. She could barely hear the old one, so we were buying her a new one, with headphones for Mother's Day. But now she has no ears, and she has no eyes."

Now playing: Some stupid morning show ranting about the "Friends" finale.

Arrrgghhhh

Work is pure insanity today.

I can't tell you how glad I am that it's almost Friday.

Arrrrgh.

One day, hopefully, the steel market will level off and my (work)life will be a bit less of a living hell.

Now playing: "First Cut is the Deepest" - Cheryl Crow

Ok, so fair's fair....

After polluting ol' bbm's blog, and leaving his brain open for all of you to dissect, I figured fair is fair.....

Dorothy has this cool little idea where I (the blogger) allow you (dear reader), to pick my brain. Ask me anything you like, and I'll attempt to answer as honestly and openly as I can. Only rule (other than maintaining SOME level of decency) is that you may only ask THREE QUESTIONS (and two parters count as multiple questions, so don't try to slide any combo-deals by me).

So whatcha wanna know?

Now playing: "The Reason" - Hoobastank

Happy Hair - Here I Come!

I have wonderful news! My long-lost hairdresser, Dolan, has been located!

You ladies will understand my enthusiasm about this. I had a hair-dresser I had been seeing for nearly two years.. he had been recommended to me by several people, and it was love at first snip. His talent was amazing, and he had a way with highlights (very subtle, hardly discernable as actual highlights, appearing more like sunkissed strands).

And then *poof* he disappeared. He had a falling out with his partner, and had reportedly gone to another salon in town. However, when we called to locate him, no dice!

So now it's been over a year, and we've gotten word that he's now at a salon at the beach! Yipppee! And just in time for summer (I do need my highlghts re-done!).

Now playing: "Everlasting Love" - U2

Tee hee... I've been Googled....

Curious about something.... I'm getting numerous referrals from "Google,"..... like 19 of 'em in the last 24 hours. What the HELL are people searching for that they find lil ol me?

I'd love to be able to find out. It's really amusing to me, cus I'd bet five bucks this isn't quite what they were seeking.

Now playing: "Naughty Girl" - Beyonce

Those Crazy Brits...

What is this world coming to? Have we lost all sense of common courtesy and decency? Have we become so reliant on technology, that we've lost the ability (and desire) to communicate with words? A couple weeks ago, there were articles all over the place about this new phenomenon called "toothing," and now this?

I think maybe we ought to have a "cellular holiday." An international day where no one is allowed to use cell phones, text messaging, e-mail or anything along those lines. For one 24-hour period, people would have to learn how to communicate the old-fashioned way - by speaking with one another (or something that's even more of a rarity these days - writing a letter!)

I'm really joking about the cellular holiday idea, but I honestly do find it ridiculous that people rely on technology as heavily as they do (myself included).


Now playing: "Hey Ya" - Outkast

All is well with the world...

Well I suppose after my slew of negative, bitter, whining, weepy, pitiful posts last week (or was it the week before?) about the drama in my love life, I ought to at least provide a brief update.

Things are cool.

There ya go.

Nah, but really, there was some serious drama there for a bit, and I was concerned that things were not going to work out. But after mucho, mucho long, late-night talks, and a bit more investigation on my part, everything seems to be okay. Not perfect... still might take some time to get completely back to normal, but we're on the right track at least. And I'm happy once again.

*phew*

Now playing: "Eighth world wonder" - Kimberly Locke

Isn't this another one of those American Idol chicks? Ick. Now I'm realizing why I don't listen to pop radio much. It's so very bland.

Prepare to laugh so hard, Diet Coke will come spewing out of your nose...

This is seriously one of the funniest, most intelligently written things I have ever read. I must give props to Dog Snot Diaries for posting this, but it was too good not to share with ya'll.

Police Intelligence.


Now playing: "Every Breath You Take" - The Police

Tuesday Chooseday?

Seeing as I'm too freakin tired to manage any sort of original thought processes, I'm gonna flood my blog with these little questionnaire-type things... I just ran across this (and sadly, I don't even recall where!), and find the concept amusing. We'll see if I'm still tickled once I actually read and answer the questions....

So here goes!



today is a special celebrity edition of tuesday is chooseday! so, either leave your answers or a link to your webpage with your responses.

Would you rather:


1. while camping, have to cut your arm off with a pocket knife because it got stuck under a boulder and you were trapped for three days OR suck snake venom out of a snake bite in richard simmons' ass?


Um, this one is easy. Cut my arm off with a pocket knife.


2. have both your feet amputated at the ankles OR be in a 10 round, bare-fisted, cage match with mike tyson?


Wow. Both sound terribly painful, but I'll go with the Mike Tyson cage match.


3. perform oral sex for 2 minutes on paris hilton OR anna nicole smith?


Hmmm, young skinny skank, or older chubby skank? I'd have to go with Paris Hilton, simply cus I think her cave has seen less traffic than Anna Nicole's.


4. be in a big-budget, action flick with paul reubens (pee wee herman) OR a low-budget, artsy film with jesse ventura?


Another easy one. Pee Wee all the way!

Addendum: Ok, I now remember who I stole this from... so please go say "hi" to The Minnesota Diva to show your appreciation.

Now playing: An ad for the musical "Mama Mia."

Too much information....

What the hell IS a "meme" anyway? Well, regardless, apparently this is one, and I'madoin'it. And it's all James' fault.

I gotta say, I really wanted to lie about a few of these items... as in, I didn't want to admit to a couple things on here. But, what the hell... not like any of you know me anyway (you HUSH, bbm!)

Addendum: Thanks to Jenn, I've made a clarification below.

(X) I Have Been Drunk
( ) I Have Smoked Pot
( ) I Have Done Cocaine
( ) I Have Done Other Drugs
( ) I Have Thrown Up In A Bar
(X) I Have Flashed Someone (but it was someone I knew, in the car in the lane next to me... and he flashed me back!)
(X) I Have Posed Nude
(X) I Have Purchased Pornography (Um, DUH!)
(X) I Have Been Caught Masturbating (but not by the parental units...)
( ) I Have Pissed On Myself
(X) I Have Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex
(X) I Have Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) I Have Made Out With A Stranger
(X) I Have Gone On A Blind Date
(X) I Have Been In Love
(X) I Have Been Dumped
(X) I Have Had Sex
(X) I Have Had Anal Sex (received, and given)
(X) I Have Had Sex In Public
(X) I Have Had Sex With A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) I Have Had Sex With A Co-Worker
( ) I Have Had Sex At The Office (I WISH!)
( ) I Have Had Sex In A Dressing Room
( ) I Have Had Sex At A Friend`s House During A Party (Um, EWWW! Get a room!)
( ) I Have Had Sex / Hooked Up With A Friend`s Sibling
( ) I Have Gotten Someone Drunk To Have Sex With Them
(X) I Have Had Sex With More Than 1 Person In The Same Week (See below…)
(X) I Have Had A Threesome
( ) I Have Received Scars From My Sex Partner
(X) I Have Been Married
(X) I Have Been Divorced
(X) I Have Snuck Out Of My Parent`s House
( ) I Have Cut Myself On Purpose
( ) I Have Killed Someone (spiders and cockroaches don’t count, do they?)
(X) I Have Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire (Well, I sprayed Aqua Net on my hand and lit it)
( ) I Have Crashed A Friend`s/Mom's Car
(X) I Have Shoplifted (Zebra Stripe Gum, age 3, from Woolworth’s)
(X) I Have Stolen Something From My Job (Do sticky notes and pens count?)
(X) I Have Been Fired (I guess they wanted their sticky notes back!)
( ) I Have Been In A Fist Fight (I decked a guy once, but he didn’t strike back, so I don’t think it counts)
(X) I Have Been Tied Up
( ) I Have Been Arrested
(X) I Have Ridden In A Taxi
(X) I Have Lied To A Friend
(X) I Have Skipped School
( ) I Have Had A Crush On A Teacher
( ) I Have Celebrated Mardi-Gras In New Orleans
( ) I Have Celebrated New Years In Time Square
( ) I Have Been To Japan
( ) I Have Been To Europe
( ) I Have Been Snowboarding
(X) I Have Eaten Sushi


Now playing: "My Immortal" - Evanescence

My GAWD, could I be more tired of this song?

I'm such a pervert....

So I'm checking my email, and as I log out of Yahoo, I catch a glimpse of one of those little ads that appear in Yahoo! Mail. Now, I don't want to get sued for slander or anything, so I'll refrain from linking, or even telling you who the advertiser is. But picture this: A photo of an attractive, dark-haired young woman, puckering up, lips pouty and painted a glossy red. And the headline? "What is DSL?"

My initial comment was to correct the grammar, and change it to "What are DSL's?" Then I realized the ad was for an internet service provider, and was not, as I had assumed, some reference to a woman's facial features and their possible role in oral sex.

Now playing: Actually, since I'm leaving work, the radio is already off. Silence is golden.

Happy Almost BIrthday To Nee... er... ME!

I've noticed this phenomenon in the blogosphere... everywhere you look, people have links to their "Amazon Wish Lists." I'll admit, I've perused a few... It's interesting to see what music and movies other people are interested in... .but does anyone ever USE them? I mean, does the average blogger see that link, click it and go, "I liked today's post. I think I'll send her a CD."

Probably not.

Nevertheless, I've started to develop my own wish list... it's still got a long ways to go (hey - I like music and movies!). And seeing as my birthday is a mere 8 days away, I figure this is a perfect opportunity to shed all shame, and beg for gifts.

So quit reading this meaningless fluff, and get to shopping!

Now playing: "Downtown Train" - Rod Stewart

What can I say, but "BLEH!"

Message in a bottle...

I like this story... and I don't. Much like the mom, I'm a bit disappointed that the people who found the bottle admitted they found it near the same location from which it was launched. Would it have not been wonderful if they had just sent the letter from Germany, and allowed the child to enjoy the excitement?

Aside from that, however, I do think this is a wonderful idea. I might just take Jeff's son out to the beach next weekend and allow him to launch one, just to see what happens.

Now playing: "Stand by Me" - Ben E. King

... A Call to Spiritual Arms...

Rae over at A Likely Story never ceases to amaze me. She writes with more warmth and heart than I can ever aspire to. So it was no surprise when reading her most recent entry, I was moved to tears.

Please, do yourself a favor, and go read this. And if you or someone you know has a loved one fighting overseas, please pass it along to them as well. I think they would find comfort in her words.

Now playing: "Benny and the Jets" - Elton John

Drive-By Commenters....

I've noticed a new 'thing' lately in the comments on my Blog - Drive-by commenters. People (or person) who have obviously not read a word of the post they are commenting on, but proceed to leave odd, off-topic and frequently obscene comments. I mean, obviously I'm not easily offended by graphic language, but sheesh, at least make it something relevant to the post!

I had one such graffiti artist attach his *ahem* colorful language to a slew of my posts one night last week. I promptly went and deleted them. And then this morning I had a new one, peppering my blog with a couple more odd comments(well, based on the content, it was the same one, only this time he/she didn't have the cajones to even leave their e-mail address).

Has anyone else had this happen? Is deleting (and subsequently blocking their IP address via HaloScan) the correct/best method to rid myself of this annoyance?

Weird. Very weird. Makes ya wonder if these people just sit on Blogger's home page waiting for newly edited Blogs to pop up.

Now playing: "Tonight's the night" - Rod Stewart

Wow. I can remember being in about the 4th grade when this CD... er... CASSETTE came out, and thinking this song was SO raunchy! We've come a long way since then (or have we?)

Are you well read?

I've always been a voracious reader... .typically fiction, though I also enjoy true crime. But when it comes to "the classics," (aka the crap they made you read in school, and you dreaded every moment of it), I'm not quite up to snuff. Mind you, NOW, as an adult, I don't view these works as "crap," and I wholeheartedly wish I had read more of them in mhy youth (and worked harder to pay attention to the ones I DID read).

So, courtesy of Eric (who lifted this list from The Minnesota Diva), here we go.... Copy, paste and note in bold the ones you've read.

Beowulf
Achebe, Chinua - Things Fall Apart
Agee, James - A Death in the Family
Austen, Jane - Pride and Prejudice
Baldwin, James - Go Tell It on the Mountain
Beckett, Samuel - Waiting for Godot
Bellow, Saul - The Adventures of Augie March
Bront, Charlotte - Jane Eyre
Bront, Emily - Wuthering Heights
Camus, Albert - The Stranger
Cather, Willa - Death Comes for the Archbishop
Chaucer, Geoffrey - The Canterbury Tales
Chekhov, Anton - The Cherry Orchard
Chopin, Kate - The Awakening
Conrad, Joseph - Heart of Darkness
Cooper, James Fenimore - The Last of the Mohicans
Crane, Stephen - The Red Badge of Courage
Dante - Inferno
de Cervantes, Miguel - Don Quixote
Defoe, Daniel - Robinson Crusoe
Dickens, Charles - A Tale of Two Cities
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor - Crime and Punishment
Douglass, Frederick - Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
Dreiser, Theodore - An American Tragedy
Dumas, Alexandre - The Three Musketeers
Eliot, George - The Mill on the Floss
Ellison, Ralph - Invisible Man
Emerson, Ralph Waldo - Selected Essays
Faulkner, William - As I Lay Dying
Faulkner, William - The Sound and the Fury
Fielding, Henry - Tom Jones
Fitzgerald, F. Scott - The Great Gatsby
Flaubert, Gustave - Madame Bovary
Ford, Ford Madox - The Good Soldier
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von - Faust
Golding, William - Lord of the Flies
Hardy, Thomas - Tess of the d'Urbervilles
Hawthorne, Nathaniel - The Scarlet Letter
Heller, Joseph - Catch 22
Hemingway, Ernest - A Farewell to Arms
Homer - The Iliad
Homer - The Odyssey
Hugo, Victor - The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Hurston, Zora Neale - Their Eyes Were Watching God
Huxley, Aldous - Brave New World
Ibsen, Henrik - A Doll's House
James, Henry - The Portrait of a Lady
James, Henry - The Turn of the Screw
Joyce, James - A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Kafka, Franz - The Metamorphosis
Kingston, Maxine Hong - The Woman Warrior
Lee, Harper - To Kill a Mockingbird
Lewis, Sinclair - Babbitt
London, Jack - The Call of the Wild
Mann, Thomas - The Magic Mountain
Marquez, Gabriel García - One Hundred Years of Solitude
Melville, Herman - Bartleby the Scrivener
Melville, Herman - Moby Dick
Miller, Arthur - The Crucible
Morrison, Toni - Beloved
O'Connor, Flannery - A Good Man is Hard to Find
O'Neill, Eugene - Long Day's Journey into Night
Orwell, George - Animal Farm
Pasternak, Boris - Doctor Zhivago
Plath, Sylvia - The Bell Jar
Poe, Edgar Allan - Selected Tales
Proust, Marcel - Swann's Way
Pynchon, Thomas - The Crying of Lot 49
Remarque, Erich Maria - All Quiet on the Western Front
Rostand, Edmond - Cyrano de Bergerac
Roth, Henry - Call It Sleep
Salinger, J.D. - The Catcher in the Rye
Shakespeare, William - Hamlet
Shakespeare, William - Macbeth
Shakespeare, William - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Shakespeare, William - Romeo and Juliet
Shaw, George Bernard - Pygmalion
Shelley, Mary - Frankenstein
Silko, Leslie Marmon - Ceremony
Solzhenitsyn, Alexander - One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Sophocles - Antigone
Sophocles - Oedipus Rex
Steinbeck, John - The Grapes of Wrath
Stevenson, Robert Louis - Treasure Island
Stowe, Harriet Beecher - Uncle Tom's Cabin
Swift, Jonathan - Gulliver's Travels
Thackeray, William - Vanity Fair
Thoreau, Henry David - Walden
Tolstoy, Leo - War and Peace
Turgenev, Ivan - Fathers and Sons
Twain, Mark - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Voltaire - Candide
Vonnegut, Kurt Jr. - Slaughterhouse-Five
Walker, Alice - The Color Purple
Wharton, Edith - The House of Mirth
Welty, Eudora - Collected Stories
Whitman, Walt - Leaves of Grass
Wilde, Oscar - The Picture of Dorian Gray
Williams, Tennessee - The Glass Menagerie
Woolf, Virginia - To the Lighthouse
Wright, Richard - Native Son

Wow. I suck. Badly. There are so many books on this list that I am ashamed to admit I've never read, and evern a few I've never heard of! And of the ones I have read? Sadly, I don't think I remember most of them. I just know I read them. Only a few stick with me (undoubtedly they were things I opted to read on my own, and not because I was assigned to do so).

I think I need to get my ass off this computer, and get over to the library.

*sigh*

Unconscious mutterings.....

1. Sexy:: sensual
   
2. Clique:: snobby
   
3. Pledge:: promise
   
4. Carbs:: bread
   
5. Dream Job:: dolphin trainer
   
6. Sweeps:: week
   
7. Soundtrack:: nostalgia
   
8. Hero:: sandwich
   
9. Shave:: razor burn
   
10. Christina:: Applegate
    

The Party: Recap, part 3

And by the way - did you know some women can be real bitches? Shit!

I'm well aware that when you get a dozen women together, they're all from very diverse backgrounds (and different areas/times of the Bride's life), and they're all drinking, there's bound to be a little drama amongst them. And that's okay. But one would expect that at least they would all remain loyal/kind to the BRIDE, right? I mean, seeing as she's the guest of honor and all.

WRONG.

After going to Bourbon Street Station (essentially a massive building with several different themed clubs inside, with a New Orleans-style "street" running down the middle, complete with bead-tossing and street-corner musicians), Sam decided she wanted to head back out toward the beach, and hit a few of her old haunts. Mitty tried to convince Sam to go to a couple of other places, but Sam asserted that she really wanted to go to Lynch's and The Ritz, and then after that, maybe we could hit the other places. But again, Mitty insisted her idea was better, and asked Sam if we could just go to Megellan's/The Atlantic for a few minutes, promising that we'd move on to Lynch's soon. Sam gave in, and off to Magellan's we went.

Once inside, Mitty and a few of the other girls *poof* disappeared. When we finally located them, they were fully engrossed with their other friends (whom they had called earlier, and knew would be there), and ignored Sam's pleas to move on. At this point, Sam is getting pretty upset, and with good reason! This IS afterall, supposed to be HER night. Mitty and her friends could go out any time - why did they feel the need to rain on Sam's parade? Sarah and I calmed her down, and the rest of us went to Lynch's anyway. And in truth, I think we ended up having a better time than if Mitty & Co. had gone with us. The band was awesome, the beer was cold, the crowd was a ton of fun... how could we have anything BUT an amazing time? And Sarah, being the brave girl that she is, even got on-stage with the band to belt out a little "Blister in the Sun!"

But even so, Sam confessed to me later on that she was really upset by their behavior. And the sad part is, there's no way to erase what they did to her, and the way they detracted from what should have been a perfect night.

The Party: Recap, part 2

Oh yeah... and I failed to mention - I am NEVER, EVER, EVER drinking again. Never.

At least not until the wedding reception.

The Party: Recap

Well, as I mentioned earlier last week, last night was the long-awaited Bachelorette event for my dear friend Samanatha. Mitty, Sarah and I picked Sam up at her house, greeting her at the door with a 6' tall inflatable penis (which she was required to carry around with her for our first few stops of the day). Following brunch at Panera, we moved on to the Anthony & Sandra Spa.... WOW! What a spectacular experience! This place was so incredibly tranquil and relaxing. We lounged about in this upstairs living room, soft music and the scent of bamboo in the air, while we chatted away and sipped Mimosas.

Some members of the group had massages or manicures, while I opted for the Peppermint Pedicure and Euro-Spa Facial. Again, all I can say is "WOW!" I have had facials before, but none that could compare to this. Anna, my facialist, is incredibly talented, and did an excellent job of explaining the processes and products, while still maintaining a soothing atmosphere. And Mother Nature did her part to add to the overall atmosphere as well, by providing us with a torrential downpour in the middle of the afternoon! (I did at one point actually fall asleep, and would have enjoyed a lovely nap if not for a sudden *crack* of lightening.) Following the spa, we moved on to the hotel, where more friends met up with us... we proceeded to open gifts, enjoyed a few (who am I kidding - several) jell-o shooters, and prepared to go out. We looked terribly adorable in our matching camo-tees and khakis or cargos.

At some point, the Bride-to-be let on that she knew (or assumed) we would have a limo lined up for her. Being the cruel friends that we are, we countered this assumption by creating an elaborate scheme: by way of a series of hush-hush phone calls, several "Oh my GOD, tell me you are kidding," many slammed doors, and irate exchanges between Sarah, Mitty and I, we let her know that the limo *gasp!* had not arrived as scheduled, and that the limo company had no record of our reservation. To make matters worse, since it's Prom Weekend, there was no way to line one up on such short notice. Poor Sam was crest-fallen... but being the trooper that she is, she tried to suck it up and act like she wasn't disappointed. We even went so far as to have one girl "call in a favor" to a friend who works for an airport van service company, and line up a van to pick us up from dinner, just so that we didn't need to worry about having a designated driver. Again, Sam tried to mask her disappointment, but we could tell she was truly a little sad about it. At various points throughout dinner, she would whisper to me, "Just tell me what kind of limo we were supposed to have! Was it a Hummer?" (she had even told her fiancee at one point that she would LOVE it if we got her an H2 limo, but then shrugged it off, mentioning that it's too extravagant, and that she didn't expect we would do that for her).

After dinner, we waited anxiously outside for "the van," and Sam actually shrieked when, in it's place, this rolled up. I never thought I would agree with a statement like, "This is one pimp ride," but I've gotta admit, that's an accurate description of the interior. So the twelve of us piled in, and off we went. We spent the evening hitting clubs, dancing, cruising (hey, why not?) and just had a blast. Mitty, who I must say is the master event planner, got each of us some party favors... an adorable purse that looks like an embroidered satin bustier, filled with a few naughty little items (peckermints, dicklets, a penis-shaped whistle), as well as some Alka-Seltzer 'morning after' relief.

Finally, around three a.m., we made the requisite run for the border, and then retired to the hotel. All in all, we had a blast (there was a bit of minor drama, which I'll get to later), and Sam was so thrilled and surprised by the whole day. My only disappointment in the whole evening is that Mitty was responsible for the bag that contained EVERYONE'S cameras (three digital, two regular and a handful of disposeables), as well as the soundtrack CD's I had created for the evening... and she LEFT IT IN THE HOTEL ROOM, and refused to allow us to backtrack in order to retrieve it. So the only pictures we got were captured on the little disposable camera I had in my purse. *sigh*

Next up? The Bridal Shower next weekend.